The rising cost of health care is taking a toll in unexpected ways. A recent NY Times Op-Ed article written by Nicholas D. Kristof recounted the story of one elderly couple who divorced when faced with the prospect of her family losing her assets from her first marriage in order to pay off her second husband's long term medical care bills. The couple, identified only as M. and M.'s husband, were faced with the reality that Mr. M's early-onset dementia could cost them their life savings and then some. But if instead they divorced, her assets would be protected, some of which she had inherited from her first marriage; her first husband had planned to leave these assets to their children. Although M. and M's husband had a prenuptial agreement, that would not protect her assets from his medical expenses.
The social worker assigned to consult with the couple was the one who suggested the idea of divorce and the hospital staff members concurred with the idea explaining, that they had seen it all before, many times, and advised M. to quickly dissolve the marriage.
This is because for five years after any divorce, M.'s assets could be seized -- precisely because the government knows that people sometimes divorce husbands or wives to escape their medical bills.
M. took the hospital's recommendation and divorced the man she loves instead of wrestling with her husband's mounting health care costs. Sounds cruel but without their married status she was protecting her and her children's nest egg. Perhaps in some instances, divorce is a way for couples to stay together happier and more comfortably than if they were married.
M. still helps her husband and, quietly, continues to live with him and care for him. His dementia, ironically, probably makes it easier for him to process what she deemed was the best decision for both of them.
But M. still worries that the authorities will come after her if they realize that they divorced not because of irreconcilable differences but because of irreconcilable medical bills. There were awkward questions from friends who saw the divorce announcement in the newspaper.
It was difficult for M to explain the situation to friends and family, since most people don't comprehend how soaring medical costs can result in irreparable harm, including bankruptcy, suicide, and, in this case, unwanted divorce.
For NY Times article see http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/30/opinion/30kristof.html?sq=divorce&st=cse&adxnnl=1&scp=2&adxnnlx=1253901669-Zh73Y8nie83K7vuKfk8WhA
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