Lawsuit for a Fallen Moose Head

Wednesday, December 30, 2009 at 02:23 PM

A restaurant patron is suing an establishment on New York City's Lower East Side where she claims she was clobbered by a fallen stuffed moose head.  In a lawsuit filed in Manhattan Supreme Court, internet design consultant Raina Kumra alleges that while she was dining and drinking at the White Slab Palace late one night in October, a giant moose head become dislodged from the wall and struck her on the head, the Associated Press reports.

A woman who went partying comes now to file a suit,

Alleging she was injured when clobbered by a moose.

She wasn't o'er in Sweden, or even in Alaska,

She wasn't up in Maine, Minnesota or Mount Shasta.

Was on the Lower East Side, down on Delancey Street,

She didn't see it coming 'til the beast was at her feet.

Looking down with hurting head, she thought she saw a moose,

The floored head looking up at her, had somehow gotten loose.

Doctor visits followed and a lawyer visit too,

And so this claim against the moose head's owner has ensued.

The suit proclaims a duty to be free from falling mooses,

and other falling objects however they come looses.

The conk came in a back room as the clock struck 1 a.m.

A party there was going on, the moose head tame 'til then.

NYU grads packed the room, crowding through the door

at the White Slab Palace with its trophy room decor.

A witness said balloons were tied to the moose's antlers,

Then a partygoer pulled and the moose head answered.

The moose head mounted on the wall crashed down upon the floor,

The woman held her head and rubbed, complaining it was sore.

A witness took some photos to show what had befallen,

but did he snap the tugged balloon that loosed the moose's noggin?

So far it seems that mum's the word, among the party goers,

and so the lawsuit points its finger at the moose head's owner.

Will the judge identify who fixed balloons to moose?

Will he find, it's no Bullwinkle, but clearly caribou?

Will he say that one who ties balloons should know the score?

And know that college party-ers will tug on such decor?

Will he say that moose heads and balloons and drink don't mix?

That one who sets a stage like this must pay for drunken tricks?

Will he find it tortious to grace antlers with balloons,

and hold this alone would turn grad students into baboons?

The lawsuit of the falling moose complains of a concussion,

Another party incident for comical discussion.

Surely a case like this is no more than a joke?

A frivolous concoction after one too many tokes?

But when the laughter's over a fact is still a fact,

a loaded gun left about may be a tortious act.

Sword or mace, wall dangling, would have been a danger,

to family and friends, and to invited strangers.

Head of moose or caribou with antlers meant for bear,

Would be no laughing matter if not hung with care.

And she who sets a stage with loose props and alcohol,

may have to answer when a loose head topples off the wall.