Recently in Katharine Category

The rising cost of health care is taking a toll in unexpected ways.   A recent NY Times Op-Ed article written by Nicholas D. Kristof recounted the story of one elderly couple who divorced when faced with the prospect of her family losing her assets from her first marriage in order to pay off her second husband's long term medical care bills.  The couple, identified only as M. and M.'s husband, were faced with the reality that Mr. M's early-onset dementia could cost them their life savings and then some.  But if instead they divorced, her assets would be protected, some of which she had inherited from her first marriage; her first husband had planned to leave these assets to their children.  Although M. and M's husband  had a prenuptial agreement, that would not protect her assets from his medical expenses.

The social worker assigned to consult with the couple was the one who suggested the idea of divorce and the hospital staff members concurred with the idea explaining, that they had seen it all before, many times, and advised M. to quickly dissolve  the marriage.

This is because for five years after any divorce, M.'s assets could be seized -- precisely because the government knows that people sometimes divorce husbands or wives to escape their medical bills.

M. took the hospital's recommendation and divorced the man she loves instead of wrestling with her husband's mounting health care costs.  Sounds cruel but without their married status she was protecting her and her children's nest egg.   Perhaps in some instances, divorce is a way for couples to stay together happier and more comfortably than if they were married.

M. still helps her husband and, quietly, continues to live with him and care for him. His dementia, ironically, probably makes it easier for him to process what she deemed was the best decision for both of them.

But M. still worries that the authorities will come after her if they realize that they divorced not because of irreconcilable differences but because of irreconcilable medical bills. There were awkward questions from friends who saw the divorce announcement in the newspaper.

It was difficult for M to explain the situation to friends and family, since most people don't comprehend how soaring medical costs can result in irreparable harm, including bankruptcy, suicide, and, in this case, unwanted divorce.

For NY Times article see http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/30/opinion/30kristof.html?sq=divorce&st=cse&adxnnl=1&scp=2&adxnnlx=1253901669-Zh73Y8nie83K7vuKfk8WhA

Family lawyers are more frequently checking out social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook for the inside scoop about their clients and their clients' soon-to-be ex-wives or ex-husbands.  Sometimes that can lead to incriminating information that can be used against you in Court.

I had a recent case where an ex-spouse was trying to reduce his child support obligation, claiming that he was not earning the income he used to because his new wife had taken over the business (let's call it XYZ Corp) that he started.   My client had information that this was not the case and the ex-spouse was really trying to divert income to artificially suppress his income for child support purposes.

When I happened to find someone who was the ex-spouset's Facebook "friend" and asked them to do some investigating for me, what turned up could not have been more revelatory.  Low and behold smack dab on the front page of his Facebook profile updated only a few days ago, he had listed "Occupation: Owner of XYZ Corporation."

This kind of diligent and free Private Investigator work paid off when we introduced his Facebook and MySpace profile in Court right after he testified under oath that he did not own the company anymore and had not advertised to anyone as such.  These kind of revelations sexually explicit photos included, can be harmful to your case and not to mention embarassing. 

It's not safe enough just to select who you are friends with and presume that an unassuming "facebook friend" will know your spouse's divorce attorney and give them access to your facebook page.

My recommendation is to either only post information that you wouldn't mind your spouse's divorce attorney seeing or keep off these social networking sites while you're going through a divorce.

For more advice see "Facebook and Divorce.  Social- networking sites are great for when you want to connect.  But what about when you split?"  TIME magazine June 22, 2009.